Alright Ladies, take a deep breath, face
it, and come to terms with it now – it’s not easy to break down a man. What
does it mean to “break down a man?” I’m not referring to setting up and placing
him into certain categories based on style and swagger; no, I’m talking about
making that man fall in love with you, even though he explicitly and adamantly
told you he was “emotionally off the market.”
Now coming from a male perspective I
think we all know exactly what this means: you are just “friends with benefits,”
or a “booty call,” or a “side piece”, and really nothing else. Sure he may buy
you cute little gifts, like that chapstick you like or the chocolate you
mentioned the other night, or let you store some of your belongings in his storage
space for the time being, but for the most part, you are not a couple. You are
not his girlfriend! And you are definitely NOT dating!!
Look, I wish I could tell you that
every man you come across, wait…every “good” man you come across (which we all
know is few and far between) is going to be open and honest and fall in love
with you and sweep you off your feet. But we all know the harsh reality of life – some men you just can’t reach. And Ladies, listen
closely…It’s NOT always your fault!!
Sometimes (and actually in more cases
than not), it’s the man. Sometimes men just feel the need to mate and move on,
like cows. Sometimes we get all Neanderthal on you and don’t really know what
to say, so we grunt and groan and make you go away (hey, that rhymed!). And sometimes, just sometimes, you
happened to be the really cool girl that every guy wants to hang out with, and
you go out on a date and have an amazing time and truly hit it off. But even
though the chemistry is there, and you’d make a great couple, and have
absolutely earth-shattering, totally orgasmic sex, it’s the wrong time – which
I will address in the future blogs.
So he tells you, “I’m not looking for a
relationship,” or, “I’m not ready for a steady girlfriend,” or “It’s too soon,”
and to your surprise…he’s being honest – believe him! You may not like the fact
that he may just want to “hit it and quit it,” but it could very well be the
reality of the moment. And I know it’s difficult to rationalize how having a
casual affair could do you any good psychologically and emotionally, but we ALL
have needs…don’t we?
Now I know when you hear those
“emotional rejections,” – and let’s face it, that’s exactly what they are
because he wants your body physically, may like your mind peripherally, but
can’t get too close to your heart and soul emotionally – you feel slightly
defeated and somewhat scorned (and we all know what Hell hath none of, to a
woman scorned!!).
But if you just took a step back, took
a moment to realize that the person speaking these words is being truthful and
open and honest – a rare quality these days, especially if your hopelessly dating
– you can rationalize the whole situation a little easier. Of course, as luck
would have it, once you realize what a great guy he is because he is being
honest, you’ll probably fall for him even more!
I
guess my point is to let as many women in on a pretty well known secret about
men – it’s really hard to break down a man! However you are trying; however
much effort you are putting into this enterprise, if he tells you up front that
he’s not looking for a relationship, and you want one, you should probably move
on. But, if you can accept his offer of “friends with benefits,” and understand
exactly what that means (which I will address in the very near future), then
maybe, just maybe, you can get something more.
ps
– Ladies, no matter what happens; no matter which path you choose, never sell
yourself short and settle for anything but the best – even if right now the
best is FWB!
